Dear readers, tonight, I just have to share a half-serious study that was published today. It’s about lying - something women are often accused of doing frequently, but not as frequently as men according to the study. According to the study, a man lambda lies at least six times a day, twice as often as women (surprised, right?).
Now, I’m not changing the blog into a male-female “thing.” No. What struck me about the reported results was how easily they could be applied to government, any government. Follow along with me.
The lies most often told by men?
1. “Everything's okay”
Male pride is an insurmountable barrier. It is difficult for them to successfully express their concerns or their discomfort. And they also have moods. If you know there is a problem, an "all right" can sometimes be deciphered as an "I do not want to talk about it." In this case, rather than asking “harassing” questions, wait a few hours or days before asking the question again.
Governments have pride, too, and egos. And often they just cannot admit there is a problem. Examples: the US budget deficit and fiscal cliff, the European Union insistence that the Euro is not in trouble and that Greece will remain in the Eurozone.
2. “Just one more drink and I’ll be there”
Your boyfriend is having a drink with friends and swears he will join you. Yet even if you wear your most sexy outfit and send a photo of you on the bed, he doesn’t show. He swears: the next beer will be the last. “And probably believes it every time” says Frederic Neveux, psychologist." It's like when you swear that this is the last cookie that you’re going to take from the package ... five times!”
Governments don’t take cookies or beer. They take money. They call it taxes, but we all know the truth. And once a tax is in place, I defy anyone to remove it. The 1936 flood tax in Pennsylvania was still in place as late as 2000.
3. “No no, you’re not getting fat!”
This lie could be more of a survival instinct. Long ago men realized that a frank and honest answer would trigger a cataclysm. Admit it. Even if you want a real answer, you're not really ready to hear it! Just ask your girlfriends.
With governments, it’s a lie that’s more about services. No. no. We’re not cutting back services. You deserve them and we’ll supply everything. The cataclysm caused by withdrawing government services would be worse than a woman’s if her man said she was heavier. So, perhaps, governments, like men, are not all to blame for this lie.
4. “I didn’t see your phone call” or “My battery was dead”
These lies all mean the same thing, your guy is filtering your calls (or he really has no luck with his phone!). Why? "Often a man can have trouble telling a woman to give him some air and he needs time to himself", says the psychologist. Show yourself a little less available and he'll feel the lack of you.
Governments take another line. If you call and call and are lucky enough to get run around a dozen different offices just to get a simple Yes or No to a question, the chances are, you live in a small town. Most of them will say, “We don’t take direct calls. Go to our website and you’ll get help.” Often, you never get to talk to any human being. It’s just a recorded message telling you to press buttons, some of which you can’t press without closing your open line. That’s because bureaucrats have console phones and their phone buttons are always available, but not their answers.
5. “No, I haven’t had too much to drink!”
The lie here may evolve into a more serious problem on a personal level: alcoholism. Your boyfriend tends to depend too much on the bottle but denies being in trouble? Express your concerns. To do this, wait for the right moment: do not skip over it but wait for him to be able to articulate his thoughts correctly.
Now, we all know that governments cannot “drink” too much. But, they can and do get “inebriated” with their own importance and power. Here, the best idea is to have a march, demand the impossible, agree to meet with a congressional delegation and the President’s men, and try to get the government to back off one small excess. Offering a Tea Party could help.
6. “Yes yes, I'm coming...”
You invited to the wedding of a friend and he is late? Maybe he just does not want to go. He knows he can’t tell you without getting angry, so he opts for the passive-aggressive. The psychologist says of being late, “A passive-aggressive, without expressing it openly, feels aggressive toward others. For example, people who are chronically late are affirming their determination to retain control of their relationships with others.”
Governments are always aggressive. It seems they have so far removed themselves from their taxpayer bosses (especially bureaucrats in offices which are supposed to be helping taxpayers) that they just ignore us, tell us to come back next year, or even say, “that’s how the law reads…nothing I can do about it.” Aggression, but not even passive.
7. “It was cheap!”
Like children, men tend to seek the approval of others. Even if you do not share your bank account, he will want to explain to you some of his expenses. Sometimes with a little white lie to cover up the cost of things he really wanted. If you can play the game, okay. Otherwise, remind them that you're not stupid: a plasma screen, you know what it costs!
Where to start with governments. They tell us that a war will cost X, and it costs X x 10. They tell us that a new social program will cost X and it costs X x 100 in a few years. They tell us that they’re actually saving our taxpayer dollars by buying a new widget and then the bill comes in at five times the estimate.
8. “I'm stuck in traffic”
Men do not know how to communicate as well as women,” says Frederic Neveux, “A man justifies his delay by a lie, and for him it’s harmless, as long as the delay was justified. But it's still a lie anyway, and it doesn’t help him to accept his responsibilities. You should therefore not let all lies like this pass. Try to get him to see that in some cases the truth will work, too.
Governments use this lie every day. The program is delayed because contractors are late. The regulations are late because there were so many comments. The budget didn’t get passed because we were busy in Afghanistan. BUT, just try not paying your taxes on time!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Surprise
The not so good news is that we're having thunder storms and lightning here and it is just not the right time to be in the Alps - mountains are dangerous always, but when it storms, best to stay away.
So, I'm here enjoying a very quiet 4th...but thinking about all of you.
And, I just cannot help getting a word in.
Supreme Court - I can only say, thank you so very much. I'm too honored for words.
What really has me worried today is the gathering mess in the straits of Hormuz. I still think we can schmooze Egypt - but Iran is another type of animal. Where are the Israeli commmandos when we really need them?
And, I don't want to abandom our responsibilities. That would leave a very big hole in the world's safety net. But, sometimes it's painful to watch while 6 months or a year passes in diplomatic stand-offs when we all know that in the end, America will do whatever it takes, including apologizing, to get things back on track. Now, in Pakistan-Afghanistan, all we have to worry about are the Taliban snipers who are vowing to take out our convoys. These are the "nice guys" we're leaving in charge of the Afghans when we leave. Sad to think about it. And, when they're not bombing our trucks, their cousins are destroying ancient structures in Timbuktou, some even on the UN world heritage list. Aren't we lucky to have such nice 'friends'.
I hope you are all enjoying the 4th and remembering our history - Betsy Ross and Valley Forge and the Declaration of Independence - and even the fifes and drums...it all made us who we are. Never forget.
Casey Pops
So, I'm here enjoying a very quiet 4th...but thinking about all of you.
And, I just cannot help getting a word in.
Supreme Court - I can only say, thank you so very much. I'm too honored for words.
What really has me worried today is the gathering mess in the straits of Hormuz. I still think we can schmooze Egypt - but Iran is another type of animal. Where are the Israeli commmandos when we really need them?
And, I don't want to abandom our responsibilities. That would leave a very big hole in the world's safety net. But, sometimes it's painful to watch while 6 months or a year passes in diplomatic stand-offs when we all know that in the end, America will do whatever it takes, including apologizing, to get things back on track. Now, in Pakistan-Afghanistan, all we have to worry about are the Taliban snipers who are vowing to take out our convoys. These are the "nice guys" we're leaving in charge of the Afghans when we leave. Sad to think about it. And, when they're not bombing our trucks, their cousins are destroying ancient structures in Timbuktou, some even on the UN world heritage list. Aren't we lucky to have such nice 'friends'.
I hope you are all enjoying the 4th and remembering our history - Betsy Ross and Valley Forge and the Declaration of Independence - and even the fifes and drums...it all made us who we are. Never forget.
Casey Pops
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Just Before I Take My Break
Wow! And I thought I used too many words. Just joking, but we lawyers like to think we have more words at our disposal than anyone else.
There is nothing you say, Anonymous, that I don't agree with.
Well, maybe a little with the remark about 9 Justices in a room. It takes a lot of analysis and argument and searching case law and applying law to facts and all the rest to get a decent opinion even in a fairly easy case, so when the case is one of first impression because the Court has never had the exact question of constitutionality asked before - it takes a lot of words. And, boy, are we lawyers good at that.
The Obamacare decision can be summarized in very few words:
The law is unconstitutional because it violates the Commerce Clause. But it is constitutional because the payment that "saves" the Mandate to buy health insurance can be construed to be a tax, and taxes are constitutional while penalties are not because they are punitive.
Where the words and detail comes in is when other facts are applied to the words in the decision. And that, as you rightly say, is the matter for lawyers. But, I always have tried to live by the rule in my practice that says that if you cannot explain your decision or position on one page, you don't really understand the problem. One of my law professors drove that principle into our heads every day.
With my blog, I get a break, because the "page" is expandable...and no, there's no fee for extra words.
To put it more succinctly, you don't really understand anything until you can explain it to your grandmother and she understands.
There is nothing you say, Anonymous, that I don't agree with.
Well, maybe a little with the remark about 9 Justices in a room. It takes a lot of analysis and argument and searching case law and applying law to facts and all the rest to get a decent opinion even in a fairly easy case, so when the case is one of first impression because the Court has never had the exact question of constitutionality asked before - it takes a lot of words. And, boy, are we lawyers good at that.
The Obamacare decision can be summarized in very few words:
The law is unconstitutional because it violates the Commerce Clause. But it is constitutional because the payment that "saves" the Mandate to buy health insurance can be construed to be a tax, and taxes are constitutional while penalties are not because they are punitive.
Where the words and detail comes in is when other facts are applied to the words in the decision. And that, as you rightly say, is the matter for lawyers. But, I always have tried to live by the rule in my practice that says that if you cannot explain your decision or position on one page, you don't really understand the problem. One of my law professors drove that principle into our heads every day.
With my blog, I get a break, because the "page" is expandable...and no, there's no fee for extra words.
To put it more succinctly, you don't really understand anything until you can explain it to your grandmother and she understands.
Happy 4th of July, and Hillary, Why'd you Do It
It's Independence Day for Americans and I want to wish everyone a very Happy Fourth of July. Keep the flag flying and the heart of our beautiful country beating at its best.
Now, for Hillary Clinton.
She apologized today to Pakistan for the shooting incident last November that had brought military convoys and supply transportation between Pakistan and Afghanistan to a stop while the US and Pakistan quibbled over who did what to whom and when and why. And, oh yes, there was the little matter of raising "turnpike" fees by about 500% for each US vehicle using the Pakistan-to-Afghanistan route.
Well, Pakistan said it needed, even demanded, an apology before transport could resume and today it got its apology.
Okay. I don't see the big problem here -- except for the timing.
Every time America does something in a country that is supposed to be a "friend", we end up being held "hostage" for payments, apologies, new deals, and all sorts of other items on the friendly country's list of "what can we get from America now that she's got herself into this unpleasant situation."
My problem is timing? Absolutely. Ninety-nine percent of the time, America ends up by apologizing, promisimg never to do "it" again, paying for grossly over-estimated costs, hurt pride, angry citizen demands, and the like.
Why not just make it policy to apologize instantly. "We are sorry. It was a mistake. Please accept our abject apologies."
Done deal. No blackmail, no public divorce proceedings, no accusations. Just an apology. And if the friendly country doesn't like it or thinks it's not enough, at least America and Americans will have the comfort of knowing that the real issue wasn't the apology but the desire to gouge something out of the US on the pretext of an all too often imagined or deliberately created injury. It could go a long way to defining who America's friends really are.
Happy Independence Day, dear readers. I'm going to celebrate a little myself. I'll be back with you on either Thursday or Friday.
Now, for Hillary Clinton.
She apologized today to Pakistan for the shooting incident last November that had brought military convoys and supply transportation between Pakistan and Afghanistan to a stop while the US and Pakistan quibbled over who did what to whom and when and why. And, oh yes, there was the little matter of raising "turnpike" fees by about 500% for each US vehicle using the Pakistan-to-Afghanistan route.
Well, Pakistan said it needed, even demanded, an apology before transport could resume and today it got its apology.
Okay. I don't see the big problem here -- except for the timing.
Every time America does something in a country that is supposed to be a "friend", we end up being held "hostage" for payments, apologies, new deals, and all sorts of other items on the friendly country's list of "what can we get from America now that she's got herself into this unpleasant situation."
My problem is timing? Absolutely. Ninety-nine percent of the time, America ends up by apologizing, promisimg never to do "it" again, paying for grossly over-estimated costs, hurt pride, angry citizen demands, and the like.
Why not just make it policy to apologize instantly. "We are sorry. It was a mistake. Please accept our abject apologies."
Done deal. No blackmail, no public divorce proceedings, no accusations. Just an apology. And if the friendly country doesn't like it or thinks it's not enough, at least America and Americans will have the comfort of knowing that the real issue wasn't the apology but the desire to gouge something out of the US on the pretext of an all too often imagined or deliberately created injury. It could go a long way to defining who America's friends really are.
Happy Independence Day, dear readers. I'm going to celebrate a little myself. I'll be back with you on either Thursday or Friday.
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